Remember the post about the conversation I had with a co-worker about the "eye behind the camera lens"? In a nutshell, I admitted to her that I believe that the photos I take capture my emotions. This is so true for me, and I'd like to think that my photographs reflect love, hope, and peace.
I recently took a break from photography and our Canon Rebel Xsi (almost 4 weeks). I had to admit that I was burnt out from my workload. Then, there was an incident in the not too distant past that has hurt me deeply. No, someone did not cut me off at the Starbucks queue...
Since this blog is my happy place, I stepped away, careful not to let the negative seep in. I wanted to make sure to leave my happy place intact.
I pondered and waited. I wanted had make sure that I was OK before touching the lens again. The photography bug bit every so often, and I used my smartphone camera to capture those moments. It didn't fully sate my photography needs, but I didn't want to risk it.
There are days when I feel that the apology given was more to assuage their guilt than an honest understanding of what went wrong. There are days when I feel that it was a sincere apology, all things considered. Most days, I vacillate between the two.
The experience helped me realize who I valued the most. And, that while I have chosen not to pass judgment, there are people who will, and as often as they want. Just because.
The reality of it (at least for me) is that apology or no apology, there were certain things that one cannot unhear, unsee and unknow. Only time, and distance, will tell.
That being said, I choose to move ahead and beyond. I recharged my batteries, and loaded up my camera, and started small. I needed to get back to my happy place. To rebuild, and reinforce, so to speak.
Like a rider who has been thrown off one's horse, I have gotten back up, and glad to be riding again. There's a lot to be said about tapping into the very thing that makes one's soul sing, especially when one feels battered and bruised by the outside world.
Back to my fortified, reinforced, and moat-protected happy place. Thank you for your patience.